Valentines Day... The True Story

I have a wonderful story to share with you. This story chronicles the events leading up to the creation of the holiday we call Valentines Day. You know the drill, after you finish reading the story, leave me a comment! Here it goes…

Many years ago, on the evening of February 14th a representative from Hershey’s and a representative from Hallmark were both on a business trip at the same hotel. Each was seated alone at separate stools at the hotel lounge, single, lonely and despite. Their eyes met across the lounge, instant attraction. Hershey guy gets off his stool and walks over to Hallmark girl, hands her a chocolate. She looks at him, looks at the delicious candy in his hand, and decides that she needs listen to her therapist, stop hating men and take a risk. So she takes a bite and the luscious caramel center harmonizing with the sweetness of the milk chocolate rushes through her, filling her with a wonderful sensation leaving her speechless. She looks up at Hershey guy and thinks to herself, could this be the one? Hershey guy, not hearing her say anything back (she was speechless remember?) starts to walk away in disappointment thinking that this was yet another failed attempt at finding love. He is surprised to feel a hand on his shoulder, turns around and finds Hallmark girl standing before him, in her outstretched, slightly chubby hand she was holding a card. He timidly takes the card, opens the envelope giving him a paper cut in the process, but he was too rapt in the moment to feel pain. He reads the front of the card, then the inside. His eyes begin to fill with tears as he reads the content of the card. As he finishes reading, he wipes the lachrymal fluid from his eyes, looks at Hallmark girl and smiles. Hallmark girl, pleased with his reaction, smiles back. At that very moment a representative from a flower shop walks by. Being the klutz he is, he trips over Hallmark girl’s giant purse spilling at least a dozen roses on the floor right at the feet of our couple. Both kneel down to help flower dude pick up his roses. Hallmark girl and Hershey guy look up at the same time, their faces only inches apart. Ignoring his bad breath Hallmark girl makes the move and leans in, planting her chapped lips Hershey guys. Surprised, he starts to pull away, then decides to go with it. At that moment the bartender changes song in the lounge loud speaker to “I Will Always Love You”, sung by the talented, drug filled Whitney Houston. The music, smell of the flowers and taste of the chocolate created a kiss between the two that can only be described as miraculous. The kiss ended and both people stood, wiped rose pedals off their cheap business suits, and looked deep into each others eyes. Never diverting his eyes from hers, Hershey guy reaches for a napkin and pen on the bar counter to write down his number, (he forgot his business cards at home). He scribbles his digits on the napkin and hands it to Hallmark girl. She takes it from him and reaches into her oversized, fake designer purse and pulls out a business card (different from Hershey guy, she NEVER forgets her business cards). She hands him her card and leans in for another kiss. After they finished their second kiss, Hershey guy takes her now even chubbier hand (that chocolate moved fast), and they walk hand in hand to the hotel lobby and sit down in front of the water fountain and talk into the early morning, growing more in love with each other. However what they didn’t know was that a representative from a cell phone company was seated at a table near them in the lounge and had recorded the whole thing on his Blackberry. He then uploaded the video to YouTube and people around the world watched the romantic encounter. Because of that video, (no longer available on YouTube so don’t try to find it) February 14th has become a day where lovebirds all over use chocolate, flowers, and sappy music sung by drug filled singers to declare their love for each other.

But what happened to our couple? Well six months later, Hallmark girl was over at Hershey guy’s apartment for a dinner date and while hanging up her coat in his closet, spots a box on the shelf. Being a rather snoopy girl she looks in the box and realizes Hershey guy has a perfectly organized collection of… beanie babies! After confronting Hershey guy, he finally breaks down in tears, (he cries a lot!) and explains that he has a special place in his heart for all the lost beanie babies of the world and could never ever part with them. Hallmark girl, realizing this relationship is over dumps him and leave his apartment for the last time. After weeks of wallowing and consuming giant buckets of rocky road ice cream, (she was chubby remember?) Hallmark girl finally leaves her condo and starts to date again. On February 14th two years later she married the flower dude and is living a very happy life. Hershey guy however, is still alone. Every Valentines Day he sits in his apartment surrounded by beanie babies thinking of what might have been with the lovely girl from hallmark…

The End.

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